I’m exhausted. Totally drained.
And I’m reading into it… SHOCKER! Me? Read into something?
Couldn’t it just be from the high 90 degree temps with extreme humidity? Or perhaps the fact that I’m still experiencing culture shock…
While I’m sure all of this is part of it, I admit that I was anticipating my new work to be completely energizing and wonderful and so very perfect for me…
This week, I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that it’s just a j-o-b.
This is huge for me. I don’t hate it and for the most part it’s a good fit with my strengths and personality, which is important. But I’m always looking for deep meaning and purpose and now I’m seeing the bottom line: it pays my bills. And for this, I’m incredibly grateful!! But in my let down over the other part, I turned to Ecclesiastes and found so much comfort in Solomon’s words.
And in my ponderings and tiredness, I realize I’m so darn tired of taking life so seriously. And I’m tired of the pressure I put on myself to make a real difference in the world.
True to Cyndi Lauper’s song, this girl just wants to have fuh-un.
True to Solomon’s wisdom, this girls wants to eat, drink and be merry!
And I know that this is what my Father wants for me, too!
So what does He do?
He gives me the most beautiful friends and precious relationships.
This week I had dinner with someone I met on the train during my first week here. I had been trying to get together with her for about a month and in the midst of the planning, I discovered through Facebook that she is friends with a friend I’ve recently made at Eriko’s church. It turned out they are friends from high school who hadn’t seen each other for a year and a half.
And I’m also making friends with some of my clients… and yesterday, one of these friends was laughing until she was crying…
We started laughing (over nothing really!) and it became one of those moments where it wouldn’t stop… and she laughed so hard, she cried. While I, on the other hand, couldn’t keep from snorting!!
SNORTING!! Crying would be so much more graceful… but I went with it and it created an opportunity for her to expand her English vocabulary!!
AND, as she left, I couldn’t help myself… I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her!!
This, after attending a training the week before in which I had to respond to the question of how I will adjust my teaching style or personality to be sensitive to the Japanese culture. And my answer had to do with being very mindful of not touching them during lessons as I know my tendency to touch someone’s hand or arm during conversation.
HA! I failed to take into account my big tendency to hug!!
It’s unique connections when the world becomes so small, moments of freedom when laughter comes for no reason and when hugs break the rules that I’m reminded that my life is exactly as it should be…
This is the kind of stuff life is made of… relationships that fill my heart and make a real difference in my world.
Jesus said, “The first in importance is, ‘Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.’ And here is the second: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ There is no other commandment that ranks with these.” Mark 12:29-31